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V's Birth Story Part 1 -- Birth Story for My Son

After a challenging first birth, I joined a birth trauma support group called Mothers Healing Together to help me move to a place of greater peace. Our final exercise was to write a birth story for our child at his current age. V was one at the time. As he turns a big three today, this version is still how I tell it to him.

40 weeks pregnant

1 week post-partum

Birth Story for V

Mama and Daddy had so much love for each other that we wanted our family to get bigger so we could share even more love. We tried for a very long time to get pregnant with you and were very lucky to finally find a doctor that helped us.

You grew big in mama’s belly and we waited patiently for you to be ready to born. Finally, one night we thought it was time and we were so excited! Mama and you worked very hard for you to come out, and daddy took good care of us both, but you just wouldn’t come. But, that was ok. We’d waited two years to meet you, so another couple or hours or days was nothing. So, we waited longer and worked even more. It was hard work, but you were worth it.

Finally, it was time for you to be born. After we’d worked hard for so long, the doctor helping us didn’t believe that it was finally going to happen. But, you and mama surprised her and out you came! Daddy was right there with us making sure that we both felt lots of love.

When you came out, you were very quiet. My first words to you were, “My baby! My baby!” The doctor rested you on my belly and I got to see you and your umbilical cord for just a moment before the doctor took you and Daddy over to a special table where some helpers made sure you were all right. I waited eagerly to hear that you were ok. With Daddy right next to you, you started crying for the first time. We were so happy to hear your voice! Your cry had a little squeak at the end, which was really cute.

After a couple of minutes, Daddy brought you over to me and we got to cuddle close.  Even though you were brand new, you wiggled your way up my body so that we could look at each other even better and so you could try to nurse. You were very alert, and looking into your eyes was so amazing. It was hard to tell their color at first, but later we would see that they were blue. You had a little bit of duck fluff hair. It was too short to tell the color, but we guessed it was dark blonde. Once it grew in more as you got older, we could see that it was blonde with some red in it.

Mama and Daddy loved looking at every bit of you. One of your ears was folded down because when you came out of mama, you were holding it with your hand. As you got older you would continue to love touching your ear when tired. Your fingernails were long and scraggly and your feet were dried and wrinkled and looked like an old man’s feet.  You barely had any vernix on you, a neat substance that helps babies’ skin stay healthy inside their mamas’ bellies as they float in water. These were signs that you had grown big and strong in mama’s body and had really been ready to come out.

Mama and Daddy had to have so much patience to wait to meet you, but all of that waiting was worth it! God blessed our family by putting you in it, and—as is always true, even when it is hard to see—His timing was perfect.

The End (and just the beginning)

I'll share the full birth story in subsequent posts, but I wanted this version to lead the way. I share it because when we strip things down to a childlike, innocent level—leaving just love—the tears, fears, anger, etc. just fade away. The things that were hard are still hard, but the love becomes so much bigger than the struggles.  -Pamm

Read Part 2: The Hard Work of Progress, the beginning of the detailed birth story.

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At January 4, 2014 at 9:53 AM , Anonymous Jen said...

I love this. Thank you for sharing how you interpret your story for your son. It's an important part of birth trauma work that I will remember for future clients. And I love that V touches his ear when he's tired. It's funny how prenatal influences continue to show like that.


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